Wally memo: the future of Jon Porter

WALLY MEMO

TO: Jon Porter

FROM: Wally Edge

RE: Employment Opportunities

Dear Jon,

It has recently come to my attention that you're having one heck of a time with this re-election thing this year. 

You released some dueling poll data with the Titus camp, only to be taken to task by the media.  There was some banter back and forth about whose polling data was stronger, but RealClear Politics put it all in focus by saying "forget who conducted the poll, an incumbent who can't get more than 41% in a horse race is in serious trouble."

Unemployment is up back here in Nevada, and you can't seem to get a break with the media.  So I wanted to offer some suggestions of jobs I think you would really enjoy, just in case things don't go as planned on November 4th.

First of all, you could go back to the insurance business.  But that would be boring and you can probably find something better than that to do.

If any of the other band members are available, you could buy an old Winnebago and go on the road.

Grow a beard, buy big sunglasses, and become a WSOP legend.  You would probably get to hang out with Shannon Elizabeth.

Or if you want to jump back in immediately, you could run for Governor.

If all of that fails, you could teach at UNLV.  Basically switch jobs with Dina Titus.  I hear that her students would really, really thank you for it.

I hope these ideas helped, just in case.

Wally